07.06.09
“Know-it-All” Narcotics Anonymous (N.A.) member swallows his pride and Shares experience with 12 steps and InTheRooms.com
Written By Kerron Wilson
No one ever told me that the climb to recovery is paved with steps – 12 steps total. Now, I’m a pretty fit guy psychically, however, back then I had a hard time emotionally – even while climbing that first step.
You see, I’m a “Type-A” alpha male personality and back then you couldn’t tell me a thing; if Albert Einstein himself came back from the grave and told me the earth circled around the sun, I’d say bullshit.
Now, with that level of ego getting in my way, how could I accept what step 1 proposed: “The I admit I am powerless over Narcotics – That my life had become unmanageable.” I laughed ha “me powerless” me “my life unmanageable” ha, what a bunch of gator balls.
With that attitude I paid little attention to the steps and I continued going about my life experiencing the same people, places and things ya know.” But then in a moment of clarity (My dealer wasn’t returning my calls, to get some dope on credit ya know what I’m talking about) I stumbled on the InTheRooms.com site and started reading one of the NA blogs.
What I read showed me just how powerless and unmanageable my life really had become. In the blog one of the members completely began spilling his guts about the things he did to get high like stealing from his elderly parents and pawning the jewelry (I could relate), like stealing money from his kids piggy banks/college fund (I don’t have kids but I remember stealing money from my nieces and nephews – so I could definitely relate) pretty soon I started to realize that, I was this guy and that my life had indeed been unmanageable and powerless for quite some time.
Because of that blog I decided to find a home meeting to start the 12 step process, I am proud to say my ego finally took a back seat – today I haven’t picked up the pipe in over 7 months… about the only thing I have picked up is my desire to blog on InTheRooms.com maybe I can help another “Know-it-All” get over himself.
Robert S said,
July 28, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I don’t think of us is powerless over inanimate objects (like Narcotics), at least not until they are in our body, at which ADDICTION kicks in. That’s what we are powerless over, WHEN WE ARE USING. The whole point of NA is to not be powerless over the disease anymore thru working the 12 Steps and gaining some power through them, to at least put us in a balance of power/powerlessness.